Counting Blue Cars
by TheDragonBlossom
Summary: Its a song-fic..If you want to know more you have to read it ;-)


Title: Counting Blue Cars  
  
Author: Dragonblossom  
  
E-mail: Kamikazeryuu@yahoo.com  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion, or the characters of Shinji and Kaji. I also do not own the song in this fic called Counting Blue Cars. Dishwalla does. :-) All of you should listen to it..Its very cool.  
  
AN: Well this is my first song-fic. Please RnR! :-)  
  
  
BTW: The little swirly thingies signify the start and end of a part of the song. The lines in between them are part of the song. Okay just wanted to clear that up for those of you who couldn't figure it out yourselves.. ;-)  
  
  
~  
Must of been mid afternoon  
I could tell by how far the child's shadow stretched out and  
He walked with a purpose  
In his sneakers, down the street  
He had, many questions  
Like children often do  
~  
  
Kaji stared at Tokyo-3, taking in its sights, sounds and people. After all, they may not be here much longer, he reflected solemnly. Nothing might be here much longer..Just then he looked up to see Shinji Ikari coming towards him. He was slumped over, as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Which he does..Kaji thought grimly. Shinji walked right up to him, and then stood still for a moment, as if unsure what to do. Kaji motioned for him to sit, and hesitantly he did. His face was shrouded in shadows but Kaji guessed that he had been crying. There was a look about him that reflected pure sadness and hopelessness. I look that I had once..Kaji remembered. Gently he put his hand on the boy's shoulder, and felt it involuntarily stiffen.  
  
Without looking up, Shinji whispered, more to himself than to Kaji Why me..?  
  
~  
He said,  
"Tell me all your thoughts on God"  
"Tell me am I very far?"  
~  
  
Kaji regarded him gravely, waiting for him to expand on his question, although he was fairly sure he already knew what he meant. Shinji took a deep breath, and looked up at the older man. What Kaji saw in his eyes was fear and desperation, and to some extent, innocence that he himself had lost long ago. That was when Kaji realized that even though Shinji may pilot an Eva, and fight hard to save the world every day, he was still just a small child, only now becoming aware of the true dangers of the world, and its purpose for him.  
  
Then Shinji once again averted his gaze and asked Why am I the one chosen to pilot the Eva? Why can't someone else just do it..Someone stronger?  
  
Because, Shinji Ikari, it is your destiny. That is not something that can be denied Kaji answered gently.  
  
Then as an afterthought he added Or run away from.  
  
Shinji stared up at him again, and a lone tear fell down his cheek.  
  
Softly he asked Kaji..Am I going to die?  
  
Kaji did not answer him, but instead stood up, and motioned for him to follow.  
  
  
~  
Must of been late afternoon  
On our way the sun broke free of the clouds  
We count only blue cars  
Skip the cracks, in the street  
And ask many questions  
Like children often do  
~  
  
The two men walked in silence, and did not speak a word until they came to a small garden patch, near to a place where Shinji had once battled a deadly angel. Kaji bent down and gently fingered a small watermelon leaf. Then standing back up, he regarded Shinji gravely.   
  
I do not know Shinji. There are many things I do not know. Right now you are like the plants in this garden. Young and small, still beginning to grow and come into their full strength. Eventually they will be large strong plants, and able to withstand any terrible storm. Eventually you will grow and be strong as well. And if you search inside yourself now you will find the inner strength you need to fight.  
  
~  
We said,  
"Tell me all your thoughts on God?  
"'Cause I would really like to meet her.  
And ask her why we're who we are.  
Tell me all your thoughts on God,  
Cause I am on my way to see her.  
So tell me am I very far -  
Am I very far now?"  
~  
  
With that, Kaji walked away, leaving Shinji alone in the small garden. Slowly he walked away as well, but in the opposite direction, having no idea where to go. All he knew was he didn't want to go home just yet. Carefully he slipped his headphones over his head, and let the familiar melody of his favorite song capture him once again. He tread on many streets and passed many people, but to him their voices were mute, and their faces dull shadows which he could not clearly see.  
  
  
~  
Its getting cold picked up the pace  
How our shoes make hard noises in this place  
Our clothes are stained  
We pass many, cross eyed people  
And ask many questions  
Like children often do  
~  
  
After a while, he stopped moving and sighed. Maybe Kaji was wrong about him having inner strength..Maybe he was wrong about a lot of things. But the one thing Shinji knew in his heart Kaji was right about, was not running away. He had tried so many times, and every time failed. So it was time for him to go home, and face the world with a new determination. He had to play his destiny to the end, and see where it took him. Whether to death or new life, he would not know till the very end. But whatever happened when it was all over, he would have done all he could, and that would have to be enough. As he turned around and walked back in the direction of his home, there was a new spring in his step, and a new lightness in his heart.  
  
  
"Tell me all your thoughts on God?  
'Cause I would really like to meet her.  
And ask her why we're who we are.  
Tell me all your thoughts on God?  
'Cause I am on my way to see her.  
So tell me am I very far?"  
Am I very far now  
Am I very far now  
Am I very far now  
~  
  
FIN  
  
hehehehe..This is the part where you..REVIEW!!! lol....


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